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My mother died over ten years ago, and according to her wishes was cremated and a small cross marks where her ashes were placed next to her sister's in Barnstaple Crematorium. There is a large book which the family signed on the occasion of her being interred or whatever the right phrase is. I have never been back to visit the crematorium, partly because I live on the other side of the world now, but even if I did still live in England, I would not go, as my mother's memory and spirit is not in that box, it is in me and lives on in my daughter. I know my sister finds some peace by going to the crematorium occasionally, and I fully respect her needs and wishes to do that, but it is not for me.
Now the crematorium is asking £190 pounds for the upkeep of the page on which my mother's details are inscribed. Why do they need £190 for a page? It's not as if anybody has to look after a page! It's not like paying somebody to care for a headstone in a graveyard, and even then, £190 is bloody expensive. I actually think it is OUTRAGEOUS, and I personally don't think Mum would want her kids to pay it. However there are now all sorts of ugly issues raising their heads. If I don't pay my share my brothers and sisters (2 of each) will have to pay more. Does refusing to pay it make it look like I love my mother less than them? Or don't care about her at all?
I think the crematorium is playing on exactly those kind of emotions to make money.
When I die, no-one is to be out of pocket. Burn me in a bonfire and have a party. If there is any life insurance available, everybody who cares about me must use it to go on a safari.
Bloody hell I'm cross.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
emmelinemay
21st Feb, 2010 12:52 (UTC)
Oh, wow. That's crazy! £190??? And you are right, Grannie would never want us to pay it, she'd think it was quite, QUITE ridiculous. She'd probably much rather we saved it and used the money to have a nice dinner somewhere for all her children.

And please don't ever talk about you dying ever again, you hear? I can't actually cope with it. You aren't going to die. You're going to love forever. FACT.
shackers
21st Feb, 2010 12:55 (UTC)
Well - one thing is for sure - I am going to lOve you forever! But I don't think I'll be able to manage the living forever bit - I couldn't bear all the wrinkles!
emmelinemay
21st Feb, 2010 12:56 (UTC)
we need to find a vampire so you can live forever and always look just as beautiful as you are. (but you will always look beautiful to me anyway so NEUR.)
emmelinemay
21st Feb, 2010 20:52 (UTC)
you seen the comments about this over at my journal? xx
shackers
21st Feb, 2010 21:10 (UTC)
Yes, their support made me think even more about the whole thing and how dreadful it all is. I'm wondering if this has anything to do with it

http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/housing/750-000-improvements-Barnstaple-s-North-Devon-Crematorium/article-204530-detail/article.html
emmelinemay
22nd Feb, 2010 08:43 (UTC)
Hmm, quite likely, They could at least me open about it and say they are raising money for improvements or something and ask for donations. This is just cruel.
ephemera
21st Feb, 2010 22:56 (UTC)
that's - that's despicable and exploitative, and I'm so sorry it's causing pain and anger for you and your family members.
zoecb
22nd Feb, 2010 09:20 (UTC)
Ring them up and rant at them - sometimes they can be intimidated into lowering it?
wenoteak
14th Apr, 2011 02:04 (UTC)
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shackers
14th Apr, 2011 08:59 (UTC)
thanks
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )